Their Quirky Little Family
by King Sakura Princess
Summary: They were still getting used to their quirky family. A series of Crack!AU one-shots based off of my other Uta no Prince-sama AU, The Pet AI. You can read this story without reading the other one. Pre-established TokiyaxRenxAixOtoya.
1. Babysitting the Android

To read this story, what you need to know is Ren and Tokiya are two of the kings, they've been best friends for awhile, and they have separate mansions. Ai is Ren's A.I. hybrid who can have cat or dog ears and tail or just appear human whenever he wants, and Otoya used to be Ren's butler.

Thanks for reading!

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They'd said they'd be home by ten. They'd lied.

 _When are you going to be home Tokiya? :( :( I don't know if I can do this._

The blue haired teen sat on his lap while Otoya texted, looking at him. His cat ears and tail were out, and he was touching him. With his hands, his tail, he was all over him. Tokiya and Ren had tasked the red head with watching Ai while they went out, but it was an extremely difficult task. Especially when Ai was prone to violence and Tokiya and Ren were the only ones he'd listen too. Right now they were sitting on the couch in Otoya's room, but he didn't think Ai would stay this calm much longer.

 _You can do it Otoya, just don't make him mad. We'll be home soon._

How was he supposed to do that?

"Are the cookies almost done?" Ai asked him. Otoya had told him the servants would make Ai's favorite cookies, but it was taking a little longer than expected. "A little bit longer." "You said soon, were you lying?" "No, no! Just a little bit longer Ai!"

Otoya needed to know where those freaking cookies were. "I'll go check on them." Otoya moved to get up before Ai pushed him back down. "No. Just call them." "O-okay." Otoya picked up his cell phone and called the head chef of the kitchen. "When are the cookies going to be done?" He asked. "Uh...well...there was a bit of a problem with the cookies. They kind of...fell." _WHAT_ _?!_ Otoya internally screamed. Out loud, he said, "When are they going to be done?" "About thirty minutes." Taking a deep a breath, preparing himself, he answered, "Okay." then hanged up. He'd just have to stall Ai a little longer.

"When will they be done?" Ai asked as soon as he got off the phone. "Soon." " _When_?" "Soon." Otoya repeated. "Otoya, I said when." "U-uh...thirty minutes?" "You lied to me!" Ai yelled. "I-I did-didn't!" "Yes, you did! You said soon!" Ai yanked him up by his collar. "You shouldn't have lied!" Ai said, kissing him on the lips moving his hand from his collar down his shirt. He dug his nails into his skin. "O-ow! You're hurting me!" Otoya said, trying to get away from Ai's lips.

"We're home." They both looked up to see Ren and Tokiya standing in the doorway. Ren smirked. "My, my, I see you're having fun without us." "Tokiya!" Otoya yelled. "I'm coming, I'm coming." He said, going over and peeling Ai off of Otoya.

"What happened?" Tokiya asked. "It's not my fault, he lied to me." "I didn't know they were going to drop the cookies!" "Ai, I thought we told you to be gentle with little Otoya here, looks like we'll have punish you, right Icchi?" "Mhmm." "You always were good at punishing me when I was being bad." Ren said, slapping Tokiya on the butt. "R-ren." Tokiya said, blushing like a tomato.

Ren sighed. "Do I have to do _everything_? Come on Ai, we're going to the bedroom." Ren said, picking Ai up and carrying him to the bedroom. "What about the cookies?" "You can have them later." Otoya heard as they walked away. That left him with Tokiya. "I need to be able to trust you with Ai-kun, Otoya." Tokiya told him. "If I can't do that..." Otoya didn't think he'd like what was coming.

"...Maybe you need to learn a lesson, too."

Needless to say it was _very_ long night for all of them.


	2. Cute Aimi

This chapter was kind of not really meant for TokiyaxRenxAixOtoya, more just RenxAi, but I included because it was crack.

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"Ren," Ai said, his cat ears and tail suddenly out. "Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" Ai was giving him the puppy dog expression again. How could he say no? "Su-sure," Ren said, surprised by the sudden cute ambush. "Yay!" Ai said, glomping Ren while his tail was swishing back and forth.

"A-ai, are you okay?" Ren asked, surprised with Ai's sudden display of emotion. "Yes, why would you say that?" Ai said, looking up at Ren again with the puppy dog face. "U-uh, um, no reason." Ren said, deciding to just go with the flow. "Okay," Ai said, hugging Ren even tighter. "Let-let's go then." Ren said, trying to walk but Ai wouldn't let go. "Ai?" "Hmm?" "You have to let go." "But I love you." Ai said, his bottom lip out and trembling...Ren didn't know what to do anymore.

Ren touched Ai's forehead. "Maybe you're sick." Ren said, even though his forehead wasn't warm. "I'm not sick!" Ai said, letting go of Ren. "You don't want me?" Ai said, his eyes suddenly filling with tears. "Of course I do!" Ren said, hugging Ai. When he let go Ai and him went to his room. That night Ai slept on Ren's chest.

"Good morning," Ren yawned, sitting up and stretching. "Good morning." Ai said, sounding like his usual stoic self. "So, about last night..." "What about it?" "Well, uh...you know when you were acting cute and hugging me." "I don't know what you're talking about." "You don't...?" "Not at all." Ai said, getting off the bed and to the bookshelf. Ren laughed. He got up and followed Ai the other side of the room. "You're really cute." He said, kissing Ai's forehead.


	3. Breakfast with the Family

"Ai!" Otoya yelled. The hybrid had his arms around Otoya again, licking the whipped cream off of his cheek. Otoya, Ai, Ren, and Tokiya were having breakfast at Ren's mansion. Things were going like usual.

" _Ai_!" Otoya yelled again after Ai kept licking his cheek even after the whipped cream was off. "Ai-kun, sit down." Tokiya said. Ai sat down, because of course he listens to Ren and Tokiya, but he never listens to Otoya. "You know what?" Ren said, taking one last bite of his serving of strawberry pancakes with whipped cream, while looking at a magazine. "What?" Tokiya asked. "We should go sky diving." "..." No one had anything to say to that. "What? It's a good idea!" "It sounds like a stupid and dangerous idea, Ren." Tokiya said. "It's says that when couples go threw dangerous experiences together it helps straighten their bond." "Where did you read that, in that stupid magazine?" "Maybe..." "We're _not_ doing that Ren." "Bungee jumping." "No!" "Cooking class." "Whe-where did that come from?" "The magazine." Ren said, holding it up. "That actually...sounds like a sane idea." "Too bad, I don't really want to learn how to cook." "Ren." Tokyia said angrily. "Okay, okay, how about we just go get something to eat?" "We just ate Ren. Some of us are still eating." Tokiya said, gesturing to Otoya who was trying to eat his pancakes and would be done by now if Ai wasn't on him every five seconds. "Then, how about we go watch a movie or something? _Anything_ , seriously. I actually did some work yesterday and it was horrible."

At that Tokiya's mouth hung open, Ai stopped kissing Otoya all over his face, and the fork that was in Otoya's mouth fell back onto his plate. "You...you actually did some work?" Otoya asked, he couldn't believe it. Tokiya was still in shocked silence, and Ai was just normally quite. "Yes, is that so hard to believe?" Ren said, frustrated that his boyfriends thought he was some lazy ass. "N-no, of course not Jinguji-sama!" Otoya still called him that out of habit when he was nervous or thought Ren was upset. If anything it annoyed Ren further. "It's fine, I know what you think. And you don't have to call me that Otoya." Ren said. Otoya looked down and didn't say anything. "Ren it's not that we think you can't do any work, you're just lazy." Tokiya said, rather bluntly. "Thanks for being so gentle with my feelings Tokiya." "You're welcome." Ren sighed. "Anyway, are we going to watch a movie or what?"

"No," Ai said, pulling Otoya out of his chair by his collar. "We're going to the bedroom." "Bu-but it's the middle of the morning!" Otoya protested. "So?" "T-tokiya!" "I got this." Ren said, standing up. "I'm sorry Ai, but I think this time _I_ should be the one to take him to the bedroom." "No." Ai said. "I'm a king Ai, there's nothing you can do about it." "We can share." "Alright, that works." Ren said, shrugging. "T-t-t-t-tokiyaaa! Do something!" "Right, sorry." Tokiya had gotten distracted by his coffee. It was very good coffee, made just right too...sometimes Tokiya wished he could just enjoy the simple things. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. "Ren, Ai-kun. You both are not taking Otoya to the bedroom." Ren and Ai's shoulders both slumped. "It is _I_ who will take him to the bedroom, for I am the true seme." Tokiya said rather dramatically, picking Otoya up and running away with him. "I guess that leaves you and me, huh, Kitten?" "Yes," "So..."

"Do you wanna have a little fun?"

Needless to say, it was another long day for everyone.


	4. Ai-kun

"Tokiya." Ai said, bursting in to Tokiya's room rather dramatically. It was the rare day where Tokyia was at his mansion, alone. Most of the time they were all at Ren's mansion, since most of them lived there already. "Ai-kun? What are you doing here?" Tokiya asked, putting down the book he was reading. He was taking a short brake before getting back to work. "How come you always call me Ai-kun?" "What...?" "You always call me Ai-kun." Ai repeated. "I just...do? I think it's because we haven't known each other as long." "That's not fair. Ren and Otoya call me Ai. You should called me that too." Ai said, coming over sitting down on Tokyia's lap. "Ai-kun..." "Do you not like me?" Ai said, titling his head to side and having a rather adorable sad expression on his face. Sparkles also came out of nowhere. "Y-yes, of course I like you..." "Ren told me he loves me." Ai said. "He did?" "Yes, and Otoya loves me, even if he doesn't admit it." "Okay..." "So do you love me?" "A-ai-kun..." "I said do you love me. And don't call me Ai-kun." Ai said in a rather demanding tone. "Ai, of course I love you." Tokiya said, his face red as a tomato. "Good," Ai said. He kissed Tokiya quickly on the lips.

"So you won't mind if I interrupt your work."

Needles to say, it was a very long afternoon for them.


End file.
